Being Induced Was Not In My Birth Plan, But May Be My Reality

I’m at 41 weeks today. We went to the doctor yesterday, with high hopes that I would be dilated and the doctor could scrape my membranes. Scraping the membranes could potentially send me into labor. Unfortunately, I am not dilated yet.

My doctor will not let me go past 41 1/2 weeks. She explained to me that at 42 weeks there are many complications that can occur. At this point your placenta is old. The baby could even have a bowel movement, and then breathe it in. Obviously, I want what’s best for my baby, so I am not going to fight my doctor on this. I will follow her lead, and allow the appointment to be scheduled for me to be induced.

I never thought that I would be the type of woman who wanted to experience child birth. But I do! I wanted the contractions to start on their own, for my water to break, then we drive to the hospital. I wanted to experience it all, the pain, the excitement, everything. Not that I won’t be experiencing this because of being induced, but it will be different. It is not what I have built up in my head.

“My doctor said she could see the hope leaving my face.”

I knew I would be late. It’s normal for your first pregnancy. Although, I had no idea how upset it would make me, to not be able to go into labor naturally. I stayed positive this whole time, until now. My doctor said she could see the hope leaving my face. She was right. I am mentally preparing to be induced, and to most likely end up having a cesarian.

The risk of having a cesarian is much greater when you are induced. When you go in, they place a pill in your vagina. This pill will hopefully start the contractions. You receive a pill every 4 hours until you are dilated. For your first pregnancy, it is normal to have about 2-4 pills, but they will do up to 6. Which means you could be in labor for up to 24 hours. They will break your water if it doesn’t happen on it’s own, then inject a drug called pitocin. Pitocin should jump start your contractions. At this point, the hope is to start pushing. Although, many woman still end up having a c-section after all of this. Either because the pitocin did not work, or possibly it put stress on the baby, or other complications where the doctors feel it is safer to get the baby out now. I may not be explaining this process correct, as my head was spinning yesterday when my doctor was explaining this.

So why am I allowing this to upset me so much? No, it is not ideal. It is not what I wanted. But I also knew that this process could not be predicted or planned, and that induction was a strong possibility.

As I write this, I wonder if other woman have had this same feeling of defeat. Is this a normal reaction to being induced? I mean, induction is pretty common. Why did I have such high hopes for a different outcome? Am I putting too much pressure on myself?

I need to focus on what is best for me and the baby. And also remember, that in a few days, the moment we have patiently been waiting for will finally be here. The moment we get to hold our baby, and look into her eyes. So although this was not my ideal birth plan, it is my journey. And at the end of this journey, begins a whole new one. The best one of all. The journey of motherhood.

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